Waiting isn't easy at aaaaaaaaaall..............

Lord, i feel so BLANK right now. I hear a voice saying to me "Wait on me", but i'm replying that voice saying, 'Lord, if this is you, how long will i wait, how long Lord?'.
Right now, I honestly feel so pained, i feel so tired, i feel so angry, Lord i honestly can't express my feelings in a word, but i know You know exactly how i feel.
I honestly desperately need You more than ever, i really need You to help me wait on You. I am helpless right now.
Happy new month people, hope you're all doing great? Hope to be back soon, as in sooooon . (lol).

ADIEU

She called your name, and said it was you. "Oh my God!", i was shocked, but not as shocked as when i heard the door was shut behind the most important people in your life. I just heard you say "Sister Bisoye, e de jo e fi mi si le" I remember those words like you spoke it few seconds ago. I knew you, but not as your friends did. I can remember you to be the tiny voiced soft spoken being, but was life that soft spoken to you?
I knew you had dreams and aspirations in life just like we all do. You dreamt your dreams, and it began to unfold before your face, along with it's fufillment it came handy with smiles to the face of your family,and as an accomplishment to your patner. No the dreams weren't done yet. You had yet another dream, a great one, to bring forth the love of your husband and you. Lo, this precious one came to life thru your nuture, and sure bore you tremendous happiness. But you couldn't play with and hold this child. But you still had dreams Another dream accomplished, yet another one to achieve. But No!, pain just wouldn't allow, not even the confusion on the faces of the doctors would allow this dream. You fought hard just to achieve the next dream, you fought with love around you, you fought with hope, strength, unmountable faith, most importantly with the eyes of your little one all in your thoughts, you fought with tears, and i bet you fought with all you ever had.
One more chance, or just more time was all you needed. Time just to hold your husband and child and tell them you love them even as that door shuts on them. Time, just to tell your family that you appreciated every sacrifice and love they extended towards you. Time just to say to friends, thank you for being there amongst all. Time to put certain things into place before you leave.
He said no to all the time you wanted, He said your fight was over, He said the pain was enough, He said you may never understand now but He said there's a time for everything. He said it was your time. You, your husband, your family, your friends, and I all have questions as to WHY? Why you? Why now? Why this way? Why so soon? Why your husband? Why your child? Why your family? Why allow all these dreams and then say it was time? WHY? Why allow death the triumph? No, it wasn't the triumph of death, It was the say of God. He has designated a time to and for everything.
Because i know your God is watching over your child and husband, and for the fact that I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that HE NEVER sleeps neither does He slumber.
OLAMIDE NEE RAJI SUN RE O! SLEEP WELL !

I BELIEVE IN GOD....

I believe in God………………………………………..
I believe in God because of His daily gift of free life and great health for as long as I can remember. Why won’t I believe in God when He shows Himself to me in dreams, in an entirely different, unique and awesome dimension.
I believe in God because just as His words are in the Bible, so is He. He said others will forsake me but He WILL NEVER FORSAKE ME! He has been THERE for me, more than I can EVER imagine.
I believe in God because just when I looked at those bills and calculated them, I knew without a doubt that I could not pay those bills, but just as I was about giving up all hope. He came through for me exactly when I needed it most, and without any begging from anyone, I can boast of having a great provider and sustainer. Why won't i believe in the God who spoke to me that day, that i didn't have to have a job to pay my bills (i sure doubted Him) But again, He's not a man that should lie, and He has shocked me through 16months of joblessness, paying all my bills, feeding me, clothing me, fixing my car, buying gas in my car, and still able to remind me that He stand by His words "I shall not lack anything good, or beg before i eat"
I believe in God because He has never stopped defining His names to me in many ways.
I believe in God because, Just as I was trying to cheat my way through ‘and help someone out during an exam in my last semester in college, in a hall of 120 students, My professor walked towards me and asked for my calculator and all eyes were on me, but few seconds before I handed it over to him, I asked God “Please forgive me and cover my shame”. He DID JUST THAT ; My professor came towards me and saw nothing on my calculator, but the moment he left, I looked at the calculator and saw what my professor didn’t see that would have kept me in trouble. I honestly can’t explain that, but He had mercy on me and lifted my head up.
I believe in God, because He has proved HIMSELF as GOD OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
I believe in God, because of how He ALWAYS comes through for me. (Please whenever I start sounding ungrateful, remind me of His faithfulness).
I believe in God, because I gave up on believing in Him, so many times and in so many ways, but not for a second has He ever given up on me or let me down.
I believe in God because when I’m down and loosing hope, He ALWAYS comes as a still small voice to remind me that He’s more than able, and becomes that peace that sends me worryfree to bed.
I believe in God because, whether i accept it or not I am a testimony of His great deeds.
I believe in God because He’s made me a believer of ALL OF WHO HE SAID HE IS.: THE GOD OF ALL POSSIBILITIES!
I DARE YOU TO BELIEVE IN THE GOD WHO DARES YOU TO BELIEVE IN HIM..........

Been a while and Happy birthday to................

Waoh.......it's been a while since i typed up a post. Getting bored of blogging? sure not. May God save me from procrastination and lack of time management.To all of you who checked on me, encouraged me, made me laugh and prayed for me; I'm saying THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH and i really do appreciate each and everyone of you. One of the reasons i'm putting up a post today is because of two of you. Believer and Nyemoni (i'm jealous they're birthday mates).Believer, i'm thankful to God for making you see today and for how far He has brought you and for where He's taking you to. I'm thankful to God for His faithfulness in your life, for what He has taught you and what He's teaching you. For those He has made their paths cross with yours', for how He has used you to bless, encourage and teach people.May the best friend ever (God) continually surprise you, may His blessings over your life never cease, may you continually bring Glory and praise to His name. In every area of your life may unexplainable and undeniable favour continually be your testimony. I also pray for your relationship with God, it will always be that of better to best. You always remind me of how important realizing and fulfilling purpose is and i pray that you will fulfill your purpose here on earth.Happy birthday and i want you to know i am thankful to God for being able to call you more than a sister, a FRIEND! Have a great and funfilled day. Love you much.

It's hard enough that I can't hear Him speak, it's hard for me to pray also.

Hi people, how're we all doing and how was our weekend? hope we had a funfilled and fulfilled one? I know i wasn't able to respond to comments on my birthday post, and sorry this is coming roughly two weeks after. Please do bear with me. I'M REALLY GRATEFUL for your words and prayers, THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH. I really do appreciate it and i love you all so much.



So i decided that i was going to set time aside this past weekend to seek God's face and pray concerning the jobless situation in my life (i'm making it sound really bad, right?). I was excited and preparing towards the weekend, i was really expectant and prepared myself towards that. Friday came and all i could do was think and pray a little (those under the breath prayers). Saturday came and i just didn't feel like praying 'cos i didn't know where to start from. I couldn't figure out how to pray for what i wanted, i wasn't too sure if i was going to utter the right words.
Then some of His promises started popping up in my head, But It felt so hard to believe He really made those promises, or better still it felt so hard to believe those promises were made to me and all i could do was cry and ask God to help me. Crying 'cos i can't believe my friend would not speak to me, crying 'cos i don't know if i did anything wrong (I've searched my heart and begged for Your forgiveness Lord), Crying 'cos i felt helpless, crying 'cos i couldn't hear Him speak, crying 'cos i felt my expectations were completely cut short (...the expectations of the righteous shall not be cut short, right? well...........) crying 'cos i believe i lost this battle again, crying 'cos i felt so ungrateful to God, crying 'cos i had my Bible in front of me and i just didn't know how to open and read it (seriously i didn't know how to open and read it), crying 'cos i'm angry at myself and my situation, crying mainly 'cos Eru ara mi'n ba mi (i'm scared for myself). Well, i sure stopped crying and started feeling sleepy and before i sleft off i asked God to try speaking to me in my sleep. Hmn...., He didn't speak o, or maybe He did and i didn't hear Him clear enough. I woke up and decided to take a walk, maybe that would help abi? Not at all, i didn't hear a word. Okay, maybe He spoke and my mind was too noisy to hear what He said, right? Bottomline, i heard nothing and it makes Eru ara mi ba mi the more (makes me scared for myself the more).
Sunday came, i felt much better, but i didn't feel like going to Church. I stayed at home and was listening to Pastor Joel Osteen's message when i slept off. I still didn't hear Him speak. I had to sneak out with my mothers' car to get something, and on the radio i heard " There are treasures in your trails". It seems the treasures in this trial of mine is either missing or i'm too blind to see it (I'm sorry but thats just how i feel right now).
God I'ld be a liar if i say You haven't been more than faithful to me in all aspects. But at this moment, It's just hard for Rinsola to post something else asides how she feels now right now especially since i just can't pray or hear from You.


N.B:
The fact that i just lamented doesn't mean i don't believe that God is working things out behind the scenes of my life. But would you understand if i say, right now I AM WEAK to accept that He is working out anything and my situation is weighing me down so bad?!

Have a great week ahead, and sorry that my first post after a previous thankful post spells ungrateful brat!

08-07-08 (New beginning - Perfection - New beginning)

Hello everyone, howz our week coming and how've we all been? Waoh, it's been more than a month since i last updated. I sure tried stopping by blogs but it wasn't as often as i would have loved to, but thank God i'm back now.
First i want to thank GOD alone who deserves all thanks and is responsible for my existence today.
I look back at my years and all i can do is cry, 'cos people, God is really GOD and has been God in my life, He loves me so much, with great jealousy He has showed me His love, He has loved me even when i messed up so bad. People, do you know God never forgets anything, yet He chose to forget my evildoings and still speak to me, oh my God, this God reveals things to me.
Great is indeed God's faithfulness over my life. It's been a challenging ride so far, but i would be so ungrateful if i say God hasn't indeed been faithful to me.
Jehovah Jireh:
He has proved Himself and He's still prooving Himself the Jehovah Jireh in my life. Sometime ago, God said "You don't have to have a job to pay your bills" and i remember immediately, i spoke out to myself, This isn't God speaking, you better wake up to the reality of life and stop saying things to console yourself or make yourself feel better" To make it worse, i was to share it with TERC members, are you kidding me? Share what? God i'm sorry i would shut up on this one o, i don't want to be percieved as a lazy christian, especially considering my situation. But thank God for who God is Numbers 23:19 "God is not a man, that he should lie; Neither the son of man, that he should repent: Hath he said, and shall he not do it? Or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?" To seal that verse Isaiah 55vs 11 "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it". He has sent help to me from UNLIKELY SOURCES and it's been shocking and mindblowing i must say.
He has been Jehovah Shammah to me:
He has been there for me , though sometimes i feel He hasn't been there 'cos it hasn't been my way all the way, but He has been so there for me.
He has been YESHUA to me:
I testified on TERC sometime this year, how God saved me from total shame.
He has been Jehovah ROPHEKA to me, 'cos for as long as i can remember God has kept me in great health and away from the hospital, and you know how expensive health care is in this country.
ON FRIENDS:
Have you ever needed a friend, someone to hear you cry and listen to you? well, i lost mine sometime ago and ever since i haven't had that friend, but God has sent people my way. Those who I've never seen yet listen to my ramblings, uplift me in prayers and encourage me everytime.
TERC:
I can't thank God enough for TERC. Those who i've met, what i've learnt & still learning, how i've been blessed.
BLOGVILLE:
Are you saying why am i thanking bloggers and commenters? WORDS sure go a long way. To those who've stopped by one time or the other, those who gave the push and encouraging words when i was down, those who would rather share thier stories than keep it to themselves, those who have kept a smile on my face through your posts, pictures or comments. I feel like family when i'm either leaving comments or reading comments on blogs. I've known very special people through this medium, and all these people have been caring & amazing so far. I don't want to mention names 'cos they're all private people, from the lady who i called this week to say i got it, to the ladies who sent me materials to help me with my upcoming exams, to the ladies who we meet online and encourage me every single time we chat, to the funny ones who send me mails, to the one who come to check on me, to the newest one who makes me look at life entirely in an appreciative manner, to the ones who address me as if we've seen each other, then to the lady who has been WAOH to me in every aspect and calls me her aburo. You all know yourselves. God sure has no choice than to bless you all exceedingly.
Daddy without You, i am but dead. I just want to thank You for breathing life into me and making me see this day in great health and with new Hope. Thank You Lord for not giving up on me, thank You Lord for perfecting everything that concerns me and giving me a new beginning. I'm thankful especially 'cos from the time the clock ticked 12:00am August 7th 2008. You changed my story just like you did for the lame man at the beautiful gate, You are giving me testmonies that would amaze people and they would point to me and say "Isn't that the Rinsola who........?" .
Thank You Lord for Perfection and a new beginning. 08-07-08. Much love people!

Behind the scenes.......................

Please click the image on the left to visibly read contents ..........

Casting: I (God) don't call the qualified, i qualify the called.

Plot: Genesis chapter 1

Actors: You (Insert your name here) Isaiah 43 vs 1 : But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

Location: From your mothers' womb to your present location today.

Date filming begins: Before your were formed. Jeremiah 1 vs 4-5 :Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying: 5. Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb ...................

Bloopers: Our sins. Romans 3 vs 23: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.

I realized that a director never says 'CUT' if the actors/actresses are doing just the perfect thing. He cuts you when he either has an idea that would make that scene better or when he sees you're not doing the right thing. I guess when i do those things that God is against and those things that are not beneficial to my life and to those surrounding me, that's when He stands up and says CUT RINSOLA, CUT!. And when you are willing to listen and learn from a director, you become better day after day and i guess that's what makes you a better or great actor/actress. Same way, if we're willing to listen and learn from the Director of our lives, we'ld become better actors/actresses in our lives.

The movies we see today in theatres or on dvds are finished and perfected productions. But the real work is done BEHIND THE SCENES, when we hear the words: CUT, Now take two and stuffs like that. I've come to learn or read that it's tough being an actor/actress, especially when you're casted to take up crucial roles; but the men behind the scenes do a whole lotta hard work also, especially writing a good script, trying to make you fit into the character, and bringing a real and beautiful picture to the screen/theatre. All these men behind the scenes of these movies are just One Person behind the scenes of our lives and that Person is God - He's the ALL in One- The Scriptwriter, The Director, The Makeup artist, The Set designer......... The all you can think about that makes a great movie.

Without the Man behind the scenes, The star (Insert your name here) you see won't be called a star, 'cos the Man behind the scenes, perfects those scenes (Insert your situation) you're casted in and presents to you an award winning movie (Victory over whatever situation you would go through). 2nd Corinthians 12 vs 9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. " His grace is sufficient to see us through whatever scenes (situations) of our lives we are in .

As you go into this week, i just want to encourage you and remind you that when things seem stagnant, when things seem not to have materialized or when things seem not to be working out for you the way you want it, never forget that God is working behind the scenes of your life to perfect just what you may be expecting from Him. Not forgetting that 'Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.' James 1 vs 17

Can i say the father of light mentioned in the Scripture above is also the Lightning director? (LOL this is just me trying to be funny.)

Have a great and fulfilled week ahead people, and don't forget this is an encouragement; which means i'm needing it myself. Much love!