Monday, September 17, 2007

...........These times

Looking at the caption/picture above, you all sure know a little about what you're about to read.

Well, school is coming on well and i honestly can't complain, and God sees my heart i'm not grateful enough. I honestly wish i would be more appreciative than i am right now.

Okay, back to the subject matter. I'm in stage of my life now where i am so confused that i know whom to run to, but it seems the sight of man is all that is glaring at me now. One of the many amazing reasons why i love God is that, He's ALWAYS READY to teach me certain things in different ways, and makes me see reason why. I've always known well enough not to put my trust in man, but sometimes i feel certain people are just not the type to dissappoint you, do you guys understand what i mean? Well, over the weekend, He taught me AGAIN that no matter how good a man seems or is i still have no right to put my trust in them except Him (Jeremiah 17:5 Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD). During these hurtful time, i was able to spare a smile and ask Dad "Why're You such a jealous God, na wa for You o, cursed loun loun? ha". I'm sure He was like "Little do you know w'sup".

Every single quiet minute alone either in my car or anywhere, it's either i'm asking Dad how long this would go on, or I'm crying out loud. I'm so confused, i donno what to do, i've tried thinking straight but all that comes to mind is the negative what if's, I need to be very honest, the last time i got this scared was when i thought i would loose my mum. But why am i scared? why is there so much fear? where is the ever constant talk of my faith? what's happening to me? am i doubting God? Oh my, I've been such a crybaby i must confess and most times all i want to do is be alone and talk to Dad, but instead of talking to Him, i find myself becoming a questionnaire and start asking Him why? instead of what next? I've been jobless for the past month, and it seems like the world is against me.

You know the annoying thing about the whole situation? I KNOW HE'S WATCHING AND IN CONTROL, right? BUT why do i feel like He isn't watching? why do i feel like He's abandoned me? Why do i feel like He could care less about me? Why do i forget He's just by my side? Why do i feel like He's not listening? Right now i can't find the words to honestly express how i feel. One minute, i'm crying and next second, i'm smiling 'cos i'm saying "Dad You're in control right?" Before the past week ended He consoled me with Isaiah 49 but He emphasized on verse 14 (He called me Zion), Verse 15: He said others can forget, BUT He WILL NOT forget me. Verse 16: He said He has ENGRAVED me in His always busy palms. You know what part made me smile again? Verse 24-25. You want to know what it is? It would intrest you MORE if you pick up your Bible and study that part.

I know some of you know this already, but lemme remind you. NO MATTER what you may be going thru, though there may seem no way out of your situation. There's always a way to God's presence. Hard as it may seem, trust me when i tell you He's working behind the scenes of His childrens' lives. I'm in that situation now where i feel like He's forsaken and forgotten me, BUT within me I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT HE'S IN CONTROL, i just need His strength to be able to hold on. Don't wait for anyone to encourage you, speak to God just about the way you feel.

I'm looking forward to Thursday, when i'ld be off to New Jersey for a wedding, i hope i'm able to have a great time, and get my mind off these down times. (My mates are looking for jobs, me i'm travelling to Jersey, abi? is that the next question? Well, I bought my ticket 5weeks before i became jobless).

Would you say a prayer for me?:

Dear Lord, speak Your Peace into Rinsola's life and situation, Be Rinsola's strength during these times, show yourself strong in her life. Proove Yourself as Jehovah Jireh in her life. Make her understand and learn what You needed to teach her during this time. May she come out of this situation as a victor and not a victim..................................These times shall pass.

Have a funfilled and fufilled week everyone.