As a single lady:
It's 12:00am, yet another day people attach attributes to:Valentine'sday, what other's call "Lovers day".I'm in my flowery hot pink PJ's. I deliberately saved this PJ's for this day. It didn't seem like i was going to be on the phone with that special person today, it didn't seem like i was going to be out there dinning with him, or him reminding me of his love. I felt this thrung of pain, and my eyes were heavy with tears.
I screamed "I'M LONELY, BUT WHY ME?" I sat by the edge of my bed, turned on the radio, but trust me that made things worse. Flashback of memories: memories of tales of love between friends of mine, and people i know. I had to switch off the radio, clung to my blanket and curved up like a ball. I was so restless, i had to get up and take another look at myself, I stood in front of the mirror, and asked myself all the possible whys? I'm a good looking, well mannered, and joyful lady, so why me? why don't i have someone in my life now?
There was this moment of silence in the room, trust me i even couldn't hear the wind, or sounds of crickets, or whatever. It was just so quiet, and i enjoyed it for a while, only to be interrupted by a call. Foluso my good friend was on the phone, she was crying. Foluso are u okay? i asked her, and she said yes, it's Kunle, and i'm just dumbfounded, i donnow what to do. I calmed her down, and started asking her all sort of questions, Is everyone alive? Are you pregnant? did he break up with u? did he cheat on you? Ki lo'n shele, o de bami soro now? (whats happening, please talk to me?) did he beat you? what did he do? and She answered no to all those questions. I just couldn't figure out why she was crying at that time of the day. So i told her no matter what it was she would be just fine, and assured her i was there for her, and she said yes she knew, but she was crying 'cos "HE JUST PROPOSED TO HER". Are you kidding me? Waoh, i'm so happy for her, but thats just one more of my friends and counting who would be getting married, and me still being single. I just couldn't contain it anymore, so i rejoiced with her and worst of all she said, i'm calling to let you know you would be my chief bridesmaid, and you would be going with me to shop for my dress (Within me i was on another cloud, all thoughts racing thru my mind).
Are u still there she asked me, and i was like yeah. I had to let her off the phone with an excuse that i had to be at work very early the next day. I made sure she knew i was happy for her and had no resentment whatsoever, not even a clue that i felt so down, and happy at the same time. Down that i still had no one, but happy that this guy sure made her happy today.
Since i already got myself a ticket to barbados, i just had to call in sick. I packed up a lauggage of lovely and comfy clothes, and in no time i would be on my way to the airport.
The fact that i don't have a man in my life now, doesn't mean he won't come anytime soon, and the fact that i'm single now, doesnt mean i can't have fun, and make myself happy. If i can't make myself happy and fufilled now, i doubt if the presence of any man in my life would make me happy or fulfilled. I've cried, i've hurt, i've felt so lonely, and depressed, but all these would not change a thing. I remembered hey, i've also LOVED LIKE IT WAS JUST ME IN LOVE, i've given my all in these past relationships, but it just didnt work, so what do i do? LET GO AND LET GOD!, and after crying the tears out of my tear gland, i decided it was enough. My cab would be here soon, and in a few hours i'ld be in Barbados.
I'm yet another happy person i can make myself to be. I'm going to have a blast today irrespective of a man visible or not in my life now.
HAPPY VALS DAY Ladies. To all the single ladies in blogsville. BE HAPPY, AND DON'T HAVE A PITY PARTY!
AS A MARRIED WOMAN:
On my way back from work, my sister called me up and asked if i could help pick up a few things at the grocery store, and stop over at her house. I did so, and even picked up a lovely cake, so we could nibble on since my man was out of town. Got there and unloaded the stuffs, cooked a nice dinner of yam and eggs. After dinner i decided to stay a while over at my sisters' since my niece was so much awake and wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. My sister begged me to stay till 11:30pm,since i was going to be the only one at home. I sure declined, 'cos i had a whole lotta stuffs to do at home. So she called my husband up and asked him to beg me to stay for a while, my husband sure does have ways he puts things to me that may make me see reason with him, so i decided to stay back. After all the chit chat, and memory lane visit i had with my sister, i decided it was time to leave. I left my sisters' house at 11:45pm, and tried calling my husband, but he didn't pick up his phone. I was wondering if he had gone to sleep already. I was also upset that he hadn't called to say all them lovely sweet nothings, since it was few minutes to vals day.
I drove home in silence, and had smiles on my face whenever i had any rememberance of funny times he and I had. I finally got home, drove into the garage, and tried switching on the lights but they just wouldn't turn on. I was a liittle irritated, but since i knew my way round the house, i felt i would figure it out without slipping off. I got into the house but couldn't see nothing since it was so dark, so i picked up the phone to call my husband to ask why the lights weren't coming on. I was so shocked when i heard his phone ringing close to me; I talked out loud "WHAT IS HAPPENING?" His car isn't in the driveway or garage since he dropped it off at the autoshop before travelling. Nywayz, i walked up to where i heard the phone ring, and lo and behold it was his phone not me hearing stuffs. I screamed out "Babe are you at home, can u hear me? whats happening?" There was no response so i called my sister, and she was like "I need to go to sleep miss lady, would talk to you tomorrow".
Was that not my sister i just spoke to? did she say she was going to sleep, and not even bothered at what i just told her?. I would be fine i told myself, and wondered what was going on. I had thoughts racing through my mind as to what reason could he give that his phone was not with him after i spoke to him earlier on. I was quite worried, so i walked up to the bedroom, but as i sat on the bed, the lights came on (i screamed!). The site of what i saw, i honestly can't begin to explain to you. It left me speechless. Here was my 5'11" man standing by the bathroom door. "Oh no u didn't" was all i could say, and he replied "Oh yes i did, and would do it over and over again". My husband had arrived earlier from his trip, and planned with my sister to keep me over at her place late so he could get things in place before i came home. Guess what? the bedspread was changed to a new spread of pale pink and yellow (figure out that color combo, i bet you it's HOT!). There were a couple of boxes wrapped by the side of the bed, he wanted me to open it immediately, but trust me i was overexcited that I started crying,and sure they were tears of joy, 'cos God has used this man to bring me more joy, and assurance that things would be fine in my life. All i did was cry and hold on to him. All he did was say "Babe i love yous o much". Nywayz ,i took a bath and layed down close to my man to sleep, and guess what? i looked up and the ceiling had this shine-shine (let's be razz for a second) letterings, saying " So far, It's been a wonderful ride being your husband, and I WOULD MARRY YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN". I Couldn't contain myself, and i remembered what God once told me "When it's your time, I would bring My pick of man into your life". I had tears trickling down my cheeks.
Now it was my turn to give my husband his gift. I gave him an envelope and told him to open it. He did, and after that, he carried me and i saw tears trickling down my husband's cheeks (That was the second time ever, the first time was when he read a letter i wrote to him before i met him). With his hands on my stomach, he said a prayer, and looked at me and said "Baby, this is the BEST VALENTINES GIFT EVER, and THANKS for being the WOMAN TO CARRY A PART OF OUR LOVE IN YOU" He was referring to the report in the envelope i gave him, I AM PREGNANT!.
I couldn't ask for anything better that moment. I'm Thankful to God for my husband and for His gift of love in our home.
To all the ladies in the house, may this and many of better things alike be your tale. HAPPY VALS DAY! LOVE YOU ALL MUCH
(Wrote this last year)